I cant go for anything.

Not for slyvia's house because my mom is worried about my keep sleeping condition.

Not for 1u. because there is extra practice. :( I want to go!!!!

Its hard to express emotions;

I went to KKB on Friday expecting it to be like the farm. I dont know. I heard alot of stories from my friends, like the place was full of ants and frogs or something. But it turned out quite okay.

1. The first day when we reached there. The graduates sort of gave us a briefing on the place. And then we went for tea break. We came back to set up? The memory was sort of hazy. But i remembered taking the blanket and pillow thingy and walking back to the dorm.

The second day was ice breakers again i think. And there were sessions by jude. I almost asleep half way. 2. He told us to write down our obstacles and then he gave us time to pray for about 15 minutes. 3. And then affirmation... which marc make a joke about the rolls of toilet paper were for us as some of us are having toilet problems. And so he gave an example. Like if Jeanne was constipating. We had to support her. Very funny la. During that time, i was really very very scared because well i guess i have low self-esteem and well... I never expected their answers. So i was very happy. 4.Oh, and after that it was inner healing, which this time i really fell asleep. But i woke up half way and i was wondering why is everyone in such a solemn mood when i remembered it was inner healing. After inner healing, i felt that everything was lifted away. It was such a nice feeling. We went for mass which was quite cool having mass in the hall. After tea, i think we went crazy on a few songs.

The third day is dramas. 5.Labels... Well, i cant cry for labels. What am i going to do? How did i lost my ability to cry? A hole in my heart was quite fun though, as aunty Pat let us borrow clown suits! haha. 6.Afternoon-eveningish, we played M.A.D. It was really fun. 7.And then at night i think they helped us to put on clown make up. We had to pin up our hair which i dont really like
The process is first you clean your face, and then you put vasaline on it to make it easier to remove the clown make up. After that, i think it was the clown make up. Im not sure though. And then something white. And then powder? Very fun la. Especially removing it. Oh gosh. I had to rub and rub and rub and rub really hard. And then more crazy dancing.

The next day, i think alot of people were feeling dead tired. So praise and worship did not went so well. After that, we had affirmation... Hmm. And then finally time to go back home. But the bus wasn't there! So we played volley ball while waiting. It was fun though i dont really know how to hit it. And my friends were really supportive la.




Inside thought:

1. I was very scared when we were suppose to show our ice breakers to jude. But after praying, i felt much better. Especially after i lost my ring. It was like a part of me was empty.
2. Im not sure what happened. So i just go to a spot to start praying. But i felt myself starting to cry. So i keep running around or walking around to stop myself from doing that. Once i fail to do that, i went walking all over the whole campus to the loneliest spot. The views from some places were quite nice. I knew the others tried to call me when it was time to go back. But i ran away because i was still crying.
3. There were alot more i wished i could say to some of them. But i dont dare la. So now i feel so stupid i want to knock my head again and again.
4. Inner healing.. Well... When i woke up, i cant say things are going so well for me because the music and tense atmosphere triggered my sad memories which made me start crying. So i decided to pray for strength. I decided to gather up my courage and go to the person. I told her some of the things i was facing. And then she told me she faced the same things before too. It was a coincidence. Hmm. But she told me that the first time Jesus touched her was when she made her first friend who was a catholic. And then when she goes for this spiritual meditation thing, she told me she felt Jesus speaking to her and empowering her with his love. So now my goal is to feel that type of feeling too. But... i didn't tell finish what was in my mind.
5. Oh no. Daph told me it would be better if i cried. She says its more touching. Does that mean i wont be able to touched people's hearts now? And i really wanted to. At least i will useful to him. Ahhh......... Why cant i cry?!
6. I wished now i participated more during the game. Like washing the hair.. But i really cannot do pumping. I will lose my breathe one. Which again, it made me feel very bad because my sister was doing it because she was very good in school. I have to stop thinking like that.
7. The boys were doing the scary smile showing their teeth and all. But it was very scary because of all those stupid stories and movies and real experiences with clowns.

Watch the bubble grow grow grow.

Yesterday,

I actually invited Sheen Woei, Yuet Shuang, Hui Yi, Yu Xian, Ying Ai, Yi Ling and Shiang qian to go 1u.

But Shiang qian was still moving her furniture so she couldnt make it, but once she moved her house, means we can go her house to see her dogs!

(i would change places with my dog if the house was that nice, but i probably wont fit.)

The time was suppose to be eleven oclock (you all were so early la ) and we agreed to meet at mac donalds.

So when I reach there, i met alot of people which are from my school so i decided to go other places to wait la.

So i went to this branded shop, the minute i stepped in. This stupid guard kept following me as if im some sort of culprit. So i left that shop and wait outside the complex. And there i was minding my own buisness, when she suddenly start to walk towards me. (okay fine, i looked like i was doing something suspicious) so i walked back in.

And finally, after about 20 minutes, everybody reached. And for some reason, they started to cam whore. =.='' People were looking at us strangely.

Yi ling started the family system. So Yi ling was the dad. And he had an affair with two woman. One is sheen woei ( and in the movies, she gets his money) the other one is hui yi.

Haha. I still remember when sheen woei became a wife for our badawi background skit. She was complaining to belinda. (as both of them are wifes)

"i dont want a pimple on my face"

and then belinda said.

"不要喧闹 我要 做 breast cancer la."

And then after that, we use that line to make fun of them.

We booked the tickets for christmas carol. It was quite interesting.

Its about this guy named scrooge who is very mean and stingy. So during christmas eve, ghost of the past, present and future came to visit him. Of course ghost of the past was the cutest like a candle and showed him alot of his memories.

Yi Ling kept laughing every time the ghost of the present laughed. Which made most of us laugh too. Ghost of the future was scariest. Im sure the movie will be very nice in 3D. but i cant understand most of it. And throughout the whole movie, zzz yu xian was asking what does this mean what does that mean.

While we were walking to the rain forest, yi ling, hui yi and ying ai decided to cam whore at the back, so yu xian, sheen woei, yuet shuang and i walked faster so that they have to catch up. And then yu xian suggested we hide in big apple and wait for them to walk past us. And really, they did walk past us, it was so funny! They didn't even turn to look sideways. So we went behind them and go boo.


Along the way, we accidentally split up again. So we decided to go to mac donalds. But we were very far away so we walk and walk and walk. Yi ling called sheen woei to ask where they were. And they SW discuss that eat in a&w cause its very near to the rain forest. But we wanted to eat mac donalds cause there was this promotion thingy going on from twelve to three. I told yi ling to give me the phone

i accidentally answered it by saying.

"hello, mac donalds." Of all the blurness.

Luckily, we made it in time for the promotion. When we were eating, i found a very long french fry. And so i showed it to the others and then we ended up comparing how long our french fries were.

After that, we went to the cheaper karaoke near GSC. It was quite fun as i've never go inside a karaoke room before.

In the End.

I never told them the truth. The truth is so scary, i can't even think about it.

Once i think about it, i can never stop crying. It still hurts so even though it has been so long.

Its too dangerous. Thats why i hate labels.

Lets Do CPR on paper.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. Thank you.

THANK YOU.

With lots of smiley faces.

P.S. Ding Dong Daph. (Sorry you've to be infected by me)